Between Caller ID, zealous gatekeepers, no soliciting signs enforced by security guards, and increasing resistance to direct mail and email approaches, the business networking even is one of the last ways a job-seeker, salesman or entrepreneur can reliably reach good prospects. But networking is a skill, and there are many unwritten rules of etiquette, and best practices that are easy for eager but unskilled networkers to overlook.

1. Setting inappropriate objectives. Many novice networkers try to accomplish too much at a networking event. This can come across as pushy, and actually scare good products off. Instead, your objective at a networking event should be to identify who may be a good match for your skills, or who may be a good source of referrals, and simply build a rapport with them. At the end of the night, you should have several cards from people who know in very broad terms what you do, and who will welcome your call the next business day. That’s it.

2. Talking to too many people. Some people will strive to have a conversation with everyone at the event. This is unnecessary and undesirable. It is better to have a good conversation with five or six people than a very superficial conversation with dozens. That doesn’t set you apart, and that isn’t going to get you very many appointments. If you’re lucky, the prospect will remember you.

3. Talking to too few people. Have good conversations, but don’t monopolize anyone’s time, either. Remember, other people have their own objectives at networking events, too, and it probably doesn’t involve talking to you all night. Open a conversation. Qualify the prospect, to see if he or she needs or wants what you have to offer and can afford you. Build a rapport. Have fun. When you have the prospect agreeing to take your call the next day, your mission is accomplished. Politely break things off and move on, so he can move on. Or even better, help him, by introducing him to someone who needs his service.

4. Talking to the same people. It’s natural for you to make friends and forge close relationships with people. But guard against the tendency to stagnate. You and your friends should save socializing for social times. This is business. Your job is to develop and warm up your market, and fill your pipeline with leads. Period. Your friends will understand. Say “hi,” then “let’s get together later.” And get to work.

5. Yapping too much. It’s not about you. It’s about creating victories for everyone else, as well as yourself. Strive to be a listener, not a talker. You gain no information when you talk. You can learn a lot by listening. Once you have a prospect talking about his or her business, don’t miss the chance to keep your mouth shut. When you have an opening, ask open-ended questions that get the customer talking again. “What’s your biggest headache these days? How are you drumming up business lately? Who is your ideal customer?” At the end of the conversation, you should ideally have a good idea of what hot buttons to push at your next conversation – and have some possible solutions to their problems prepared.

6. Handing out too many business cards. We’ve all seen the eager beaver who hands cards out all over the place, but doesn’t know a thing about who he’s giving cards to. At networking events, it is much more important to be a card collector than a card giver. You can have a very successful networking event and not bring a single card with you.

7. Failure to follow through. There is no reason why you can’t do a professional job following through with every contact you make at a networking event. A simple, brief, hand-written “thank you” note, plus a first class stamp may be the best business investment you will ever make. Whether you are looking for work or selling a product or service, or just making connections, one legible and hand-written thank-you note, mailed that night, followed by a positive phone call, is worth many resumes in peoples’ trash cans. Keep detailed records. You cannot keep all your possible prospects in your head. Have a system for capturing leads and following through on them.

Boiled down to the basics, the keys to a successful night at a networking event are three-fold: Build rapport, gathering intelligence, gaining the go-ahead for further discussion, and following through, through meticulous record-keeping and prompt writing and calling. Do this on a regular basis, night after night, and you cannot help but be successful.

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